Ask Jer: Third Edition

Now that you have lived multiple levels of mobility from fully mobile to wheelchair to crutches (and hopefully fully mobile again soon)you have a unique perspective on the challenges most of us don't even realize exist during day to day living. What changes would you make to the world to make life easier for others who live with these challenges everyday. Stores? Restaurants? Airplanes? Schools? Homes?

I can think of two big things that I had issues with.
First is space. The wheelchair, and to a lesser extent crutches, require more space to get around with than walking on feet. At several restaurants I became trapped after patrons sat down at tables. We had to ask people to get out of their seats so that I could get through. Also, at stores that had very narrow aisles I tended to knock a lot of stuff off of shelves.

Second is slanted ground. Going uphill wasn't too bad unless it was really steep. Trying to travel across a slanted surface, however, is incredibly difficult in a chair. You have to spin your wheels at two different speeds. I always expended a lot of energy in those situations.

I didn't get on any airplanes except for the medevac aircraft. I was carried onto those on a stretcher and I remember very little about them anyway. I learned that if you stack morphine and ambien (a sleep aid) you can sleep all the way across the Atlantic.

Houses can be an issue since most of them have a step or steps at the entryway. Door width can also be a knuckle scraping issue.

When you have mastered the remote control Rowbert stupidity elimination program can we send you GPS locations where Rowbert is needed?

Yes. Provided he has enough fuel of course. If we could program him with a limited AI then he could probably fuel himself up. We could also add a prowl feature and he could go searching for stupidites to slaughter.

What happened to your tarantula?

It didn't last too long. I had a wolf spider that I captured underneath the band hall. That spider lasted a lot longer than the tarantula. In the end, though, they both died. I'm not sure what the life span is on them. They both ate quite a few moths though.

Ask Jer: In Which You Never Eat Corn Flakes Again

Jeremy's post: Round 2.

"Have you played Valkyrie Profile yet? How is it?"

Sorry, I haven't played it yet. It is on my to-do list.

"Do you miss your old roomie Wilcox? Why did Stephen never date in college? Was he not good enough for the girls or the girls weren't good enough for him?"

Yes, although I don't think he and I were ever ol' ladies (roommates for non-Aggies).

I could be wrong, but I don't think Steven ever talked to girls at A&M, except for the girls in the band with us.

"for both of you where r the medical mondays?"

Loki ate them. Fear not, I plan to beat them out of him. (***It's me, Jess, interjecting, as this question is for both of us. Medical Mondays will resume as soon as I can reach my file cabinet with all my medical research in it again. Right now it is in the office, which is wall-to-wall boxes.***)

"Do you and Connor have races in your wheelchairs? I bet he kicks your a**."

Yes. On level, beveled, and uphill gradients Connor has a distinct advantage since he actually receives locomotion via mommy power. On a downhill I have recklessness on my side which allows me to achieve speeds at which mommy power cringes in horror and cars must swerve wildly to avoid me.

"If your remote control could be hooked up to only one thing in the whole world, what would you choose?"

Rowbert. If I could control Rowbert via remote I could use him in place of a large predatory animal and begin my crusade against stupid people. In his current form his attacks would be limited to things like, "Run Over", "Door Surprise Attack", or "Ankle Snapping Ramp Attack". With some Road Warriorish modifications (warriorish is now wordified) I'm sure Rowbert would be the bane of stupidites everywhere.

"What happened to your hedgehog?"

At first, I had no clue what you were talking about. Now I seem to remember having a stuffed hedgehog animal in college. I have no idea why I had such an animal or where it came from. I have absolutely no clue as to its current whereabouts. If it absorbed my passive aggressive violent side it is probably running amok.

"Was Afghanistan what you expected? If you were given the 'all clear' health wise, do you feel like you'd WANT to go back?

Given current circumstances, what are you hoping will be your next career steps?"

Yep. I expected a mountainous desert with landmines everywhere and a people whose culture is vastly different from ours and Afghanistan delivered. The Army is reasonably good at preparing units for the area they will deploy to. We received language and culture classes in preparation for our deployment.

If I were given the all clear health wise I would want to go back and I would be obligated to go back. My current unit is still there. However, the point is moot since I won't be given the all clear anytime soon.

Ideally, I will be able to remain in the Army. The military has started keeping more wounded Soldiers, including some amputees. I don't know a lot about options for continued service since this is my first time losing at minesweeper.

"What's your favorite way to spend time with Connor?"

Much of Connor's therapy could be considered play, since play is what children do. I enjoy trying to get Connor to explore new toys or play with his old toys in new ways. For instance, putting him into a sitting position and placing a toy just barely within his reach so he has to work to play with it.

"Will you be acquiring Diablo III, upon its release?"

Of course. Although I am more excited about Starcraft 2. Starcraft's plot was phenomenal in my opinion.

"....Ender's Game series by any chance?" (in reference to my answer in the last q&a I did about what books I read)

Yes. The sequels were decidedly not military sci-fi unfortunately. The parallel series about Bean was decent. At this point, however, they read like young adult novels to me. Jessie has just informed me that they are kinda sorta young adult novels.

"Do you have the Little Rabbit Foo Foo book (the one by Michael Rosen)?"

Nope. If I did I would definitely predatorize the heck out of it. Connor must understand that rabbits are an important food source for wolves, bears, and tyrannosaurus rex.

"Why not T Rex driving tanks?"

Unfortunately a T Rex is unusually large. We would have to design a really big tank for it to drive. We have plenty of people sized tanks that we could immediately man with velociraptors. It might be better to simply label a T Rex as a bipedal tank. Then we could call it TankRex.

"I usually read fantasy, but I'm discovering old Larry Niven and Heinlein and such. What are your favorite books?"

I definitely enjoyed Niven and Heinlein. A couple of books I have enjoyed are Armor by Steakly and The Mote in God's Eye by Niven and Pournelle. Pournelle supposedly has some good stuff. Let me get back to you later on this. I'm currently in a heavy sci-fi phase and am reading a lot of new material.

"what is walking like for him? what hurts the most and what is the most difficult part about it? in the end, is he supposed to have pretty much all functionality back? i remember Jessie mentioning something about not being able to move the foot sideways... will that remain?"

Walking is a fairly painful process at this point. I am able to use it for short bursts with crutches and even shorter bursts completely unassisted. There is a bit of general pain in the heel area and some sharper pains in the mid foot. The heel pain is probably directly related to the trauma and degradation of the fat pad. The mid foot pain is probably occurring because many of the mid foot joints have extremely limited mobility at the moment.

The recovery process has introduced me to the most painful experiences of my life unfortunately.

Currently, breaking up scar tissue is the most significant pain. This involves a licensed medical massage therapist putting deep, manual, pressure on the left calf wound area and the trauma scars on the undersides of my feet. When we started this process it involved me screaming and cursing into a pillow while hitting things and trying to climb the futon to get away. The scars have softened up and I usually only growl a little now.

Prior to that, the removal of the pins in my feet was amazingly painful. Pins are small metal wires that are pushed through connective tissues like ligaments and then driven into the underlying bone. This makes sure that ligaments and tendons heal correctly to the bone. Sometimes they came out with minor pain. Other times they had to get a pair of medical pliers (look just like regular pliers) to get them out. If pliers were needed it meant screaming and a few tears.

Removal of the sutures and staples wasn't too bad. It took a while to get them all. My feet and legs were still very sensitive at that time and this probably amplified the pain a bit.

I remember very briefly waking up as I was put back into my bed post surgery. My heels hurt a lot but I was very drugged up. I remember screaming a bit and begging for more morphine. Considering that my heels had just been cut up, drilled into, and probably hammered on with medical tools I am extremely happy that I was still very drugged up from anesthesia.

If you like corn flakes you need to stop reading right now.

Amazingly, the actual trauma hurt very little. Mostly I just had a very odd sensation in my feet and a feeling of lethargy. Imagine a bowl just slightly larger in diameter than your fist. Fill the bowl with corn flakes. Do not add any milk. Make a fist and rest it on top of the corn flakes. Now, with a quick and firm movement, push your fist down into the corn flakes. You probably feel lots of cracking and individual pieces grating against other pieces. Maybe you feel a few sharp pieces cutting into the soft tissue on your fist. That's what my feet felt like to walk on. Surprisingly little pain was involved. Just lots of crunchy.

If you like corn flakes you can start reading again. If you no longer like corn flakes, sorry.

The history of recovery from this type of injury is varied. Due to the pain involved with rehabilitation, many people stop therapy early or don't try at all. I am willing to tolerate pretty substantial amounts of pain though so the outlook is good. I am walking early for wounds this severe. More importantly, none of the foot joints are slipping which is great. Instability from joints slipping would have meant more surgeries to include possible amputation. Overall I would say the prognosis is quite good.

The left foot cannot make a full recovery due to the fusion of the calcaneus (heel bone) and the talus (ankle bone). My physical therapists report that with this fusion I will lose the ability to move my heel left and right. I do have the ability to move my fore foot and mid foot. At this point I suspect that this will only impact my ability to make rapid direction changes and possibly my ability to run. I might have a little bit of difficulty balancing on a beveled surface as well.

That's all I'm tracking for questions, so unless you ask more questions I will never blog again.

Out.

In Which The House Is Coming Along!

I haven't posted about the house in a little while, so I thought I'd show you what exciting things have been happening over there!

With the exception of the cabinet doors and the painting, the millwork is finished now and wow, is it gorgeous! Check out the wainscoting in the living room, entryway and library; it makes a huge difference in the appearance of the rooms. They seem much more elegant and put-together to me. I've posted a "before" shot and a "current" shot of the two rooms so you can see the difference-- sorry for the horrible layout this time. Blogger is not cooperating with me tonight and I don't feel like staying up to fix it. I'll work on it tomorrow.

Other beautiful details recently completed that aren't pictured here include crown molding on the upper kitchen cabinets, new flooring in the laundry room, and a laundry sink cabinet in the same glowing unstained maple as the kitchen cabinets. The new zero-threshold front and back doors have also been added, though as you can see the front door has yet to be unwrapped since it isn't painted or sealed yet. Doesn't the casing above the door look amazing? I wish I had more talent for photography as it looks so much more stunning in person.

Can you believe this is the same house? Currently everything is masked in preparation for painting, you can see the putty (the pink spots) that they used to cover up the miniscule nail holes in the wood and there aren't any doors on the windowseats, but you can get the idea of what the rooms will look like when they are complete. They're moving extremely fast now and hopefully it will only be a few more weeks before we're able to move in! I plan to resume packing next week in preparation for the move-- I stopped because I keep packing things and then unpacking them a day later because I discover I need them. This is not terribly efficient.

Jer got to take a look around the house upright for the first time this week as we brought his crutches with us when we swung by to check the mail. He's spent a lot more time up on his feet in the past few days, and he's stepping up his work out program. We took a spin class together this morning and he was actually able to stand up on the pedals of the bike! I'll have to post a video of him walking on his crutches now so that you can see the amazing difference just a few weeks has made.

Jeremy will be answering more of your questions this Saturday, by the way. As long as there are questions he'll keep answering, so if you'd like him to elaborate on the Predator Breeding Program For The Elimination of Stupid People (PBP for short-- and thanks, leah, for the perfect name) or have any other questions, feel free to leave them either in the comments on this post or on the original post over here. I'm serious, people. Go ask more questions. I intend to have as many lazy Saturdays as possible.

~Jess

Ask Jer: In Which Jer Answers A Whole Bunch Of Questions

Ok, here we go!

"Which are best? Bears, Velociraptors, or Tanks?"

Why does there have to be a best? It seems to me we could simply combine some or all of these wonderful things. After all, there is a CatTank. Surely we could have a BearTank... manned by Velociraptors. BearTank could definitely simply walk into Mordor.

"Are you horde or alliance? What server are you on?"

I play Horde on Suramar. I used to raid quite a bit, but eventually stopped due to the time it took. I don't really have a main anymore as I tend to split my time across multiple toons. None of them are anywhere close to being geared. I don't play as much since I don't have a group of people I like playing with.

"Are you still on active duty? Will you be able to remain in , or do you even want to? What kind of support do you get from them?"

Yep, I am still active duty and I intend to remain so. My ability to remain in the military depends on my capabilities when my healing plateaus.

The process whereby the Army determines if an individual can remain in the military is a two part system called the MEB/MMRB. The MEB and the MMRB are two boards which include a variety of medical doctors, an individual's medical care manager, and a military representative (usually within the individual's chain of command).

In order to be in the Army there is a task list you must be able to perform. These tasks include things like digging and constructing a fighting position, carrying a weapon and using it effectively, and carrying a certain amount of weight over a certain distance. If someone is unable to perform these tasks then they will be separated from the military and receive some sort of disability payments. The ability to perform all these tasks doesn't mean you can remain in the military however. There are also implied tasks that are not listed. For instance, if you are on massive quantities of morphine for the rest of your life or you have had significant behavioral changes, the doctors on your board can find you unfit for military duty, even if you can complete all the necessary tasks. This is the first board you go through as if you are unfit for military duty there is no reason to go to the next board. The second board is composed of a very similar group of professionals. It will attempt to place the individual within an appropriate job in the Army.

The various jobs in the military have task lists as well. The more violent jobs like infantry, armor, and artillery have very physically oriented tasks, whereas less violent jobs like finance and quartermaster have less physically intensive tasks. During this board a significant factor is the needs of the Army. An individual might be able to physically do a particular job in the Army, but if the Army doesn't need anyone else in that job the individual will be separated with disability payments.

The military has undergone a massive change in regards to how they care for wounded Soldiers. This is not to say that previously wounded Soldiers received inadequate support, but rather the methods used to support the Soldiers have changed.

When a Soldier is seriously wounded they are placed into a type of unit called a WTB (Warrior Transition Battalion). A WTB is composed of a military chain of command, medical care managers, and general care doctors. The purpose of the WTB is to provide a unit where the Soldier can focus on his/her recovery and to provide management and oversight for the many appointments that may be necessary. The Soldier's job in this unit is to heal. How the individual spends their time in the WTB depends entirely on the requirements of their treatment.

An individual with numerous weekly medical/therapy appointments or who is low functioning will report in every day and then attend their appointments. Individuals who are higher functioning will perform low stress work within the WTB or, if they intend to leave the Army, will be begin working for a local civilian agency. Soldiers working for a civilian agency receive their military paycheck and are not paid by the civilian job up until the day they separate from the Army. Many of these civilian jobs are actually used to retrain wounded individuals and provide skill training.

All Soldiers have medical insurance provided by the Army. The insurance covers both the military medical system as well as any civilian medical care that is necessary. The amount of support provided by the WTB and the military medical insurance is quite substantial.

"What is your favorite book? What is your favorite book to read to Connor?"

I rarely think in terms of favorites. I tend to read science fiction and a bit of fantasy. Within science fiction I tend to read military sci-fi more than most. The concept of fighting a war in space has always fascinated me as many of the physical characteristics of it would be very un-earthlike. I have just wordified un-earthlike.

I read to Connor whichever book he prefers. I add my own interpretations of course. If the book involves some sort of happy, loving, non-violent predatory animal I correct the book so that Connor doesn't become confused. I consider this one of my fatherly duties.

"Do dads have a need to connect with other dads?"

I don't.

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

If by chuck you mean throw the answer would surely be very little. A complete lack of opposable thumbs would certainly limit the creature's chucking capability.

"How do you really *feel* about life?"

My feelings on life are that far too many stupid people have it. I feel that more predatory animals such as BearTanks, velociraptors, and very hungry caterpillars are needed to thin out the population of stupid people. Much of what I do in life centers around avoiding stupid people and promoting breeding programs for various predatory animals.

"What does the color blue make you think of?"

Unfortunately, that stupid techno song that makes liberal use of the word blue. I don't remember the name (it surely involves the word blue) or the band. I only remember one line that went, "I'm blue (long string of jibberish)." If you really want to you could probably look it up on youtube.

"How many unicorns can fit on the head of a pin?"

Congratulations! You have divided by zero! The universe explode!

"What were your thoughts when you first realized the extent of your injuries?"

It went a little like this: "HMM, things look a little messed up down there. Guess I better go back to sleep." Massive quantities of morphine make you very sleepy.

When my brain wasn't quite as hazy, which took a while, I did have a bit of fascination with the nature and extent of the damage. I'm a kinesiology major so that kind of stuff interests me.

"What can you tell us about Jess as a mother that she wouldn't tell us herself?"

Jessie hates unsolicited advice givers.

I'll save the rest of the questions for another day.

In Which Jeremy Takes A Stroll

Great questions, people! I'm not sure how many Jeremy will answer tomorrow, but he'll get to them all eventually!

I spent a good portion of today at the mall, where I found a store with a 90% sale going on, believe it or not. I picked up a really pretty silk dress for three dollars. Now that's what I call a sale! Perhaps I should go to mall more often.

In other news, Jeremy had a meeting with a lymphologist this week. A lymphologist, for those not familiar with the term, is a person in the medical field who specializes in the lymphatic system. At any rate, Jeremy was there to possibly be fitted for some special compression socks to help minimize scar tissue and to keep the swelling in his feet and legs down. Basically they're like knee-high super control pantyhose made out of spandex or lycra.

Unfortunately according to the lymphologist Jer's feet and legs are still too swollen to be able to use the compression socks. So she's going to make up both a lymphatic massage to help increase drainage and also a series of bandages for him to use until the swelling goes down enough that he can fit into the compression socks. Basically he'll look like a mummy from the knees down.

A mummy wearing velcro sandels. No really-- you can't wear closed-toe shoes with the bandages. It'll be like some sort of B horror flick: Ramses Goes To The Beach or something.

He also had a meeting with his physical therapist, and she was highly impressed by how well he's standing and moving around! She told him to be up on the crutches as much as possible, so he took her at her word and when I dropped him off at the gym today, he left the wheelchair in the van and spent his entire workout time without it! It's amazing to see how much he's improved just in the last couple of weeks. He tried to get around using a couple of canes at PT, but it didn't work out very well; he's not stable enough for that. So he's using crutches for now, and preparing for the future by trying to find a martial arts school that teaches the art of cane and walking stick fighting.

That's my husband.

~Jess

In Which Connor Has An Eeyore Day

Those questions for Jeremy are awesome. I'm pretty sure I can get at least two Saturdays out of this, if not more. He's been spending a whole lot of time thinking up good answers. Keep 'em coming!

Connor's still been acting a little more lethargic and grumpy than usual; today he actually told me that he didn't want to go to school, which is a big shocker as normally he's extremely enthusiastic about the place. I'm wondering if maybe it's his new medication that's making him feel out of sorts. He doesn't seem to be sick and once he got to school he apparently had a good time, so who knows? Everybody's allowed to have an Eeyore day once in a while I suppose.

While Connor had a kind of down day, mine was actually pretty great! I am so excited to say that I won't have to yank out any more of that horrible, horrible ivy at the new house-- not because it's all gone (it isn't) but because the fantastic Olympic Landscape and Irrigation Company has offered to help us clean up the front yard! I'm sure they have some more efficient way to get rid of the stuff. Like flamethrowers.

Hear that ivy? Your days are numbered.

And as if that wasn't good news enough, remember the photo shoot giveaway we won a few weeks ago? We've been talking with the lovely Kat about scheduling, and provided the weather cooperates we'll be headed out to the Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle on Sunday for the big shoot! Hopefully Connor will be out of his current funk and we'll see some big smiles-- not that he isn't cute when he's Very Serious, but I do love it when he shows us that adorable infectious grin.

Now I just have to figure out what the heck we are going to wear!

~Jess

In Which I Am Passing The Buck To Jeremy

So I've been nagging Jeremy for weeks now about the possibility of writing a blog post here, ostensibly because I know a lot of people would like to hear from him but probably secretly because it would be awesome to have a free day for me. I mean, don't get me wrong--I love writing blog posts and usually plenty of drama happens around here to keep me in subject matter-- but there are days in which I'm worried I may be reduced to writing about nose hair or something, as absolutely nothing exciting happens. Also sometimes I'm lazy.

Anyway, he's been telling me that he wouldn't know what to write about, but I finally wore him down to the point that he agreed to do a Q&A session as that would give him some subject matter to start from. So here's your chance: do you have a question for Jeremy? You can leave the questions in the comment section or e-mail them to me and next Saturday he'll answer them. If there are a lot of questions maybe I can get him to commit to doing this a couple of Saturdays in a row. With a few notable exceptions (Robert Rummel-Hudson comes to mind) there aren't a whole lot of blogging dads of children with special needs out there. There are even fewer who are (hopefully temporarily) disabled themselves. And as an added bonus, he's even more sarcastic than I am!

He says to warn you though that if you ask any touchy-feely metaphysical questions, he will "start making crap up." This is because he is a guy. Otherwise I think pretty much anything is fair game.

So come out of the shadows, all you lurkers, and ask away!

~Jess