Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Escape Artist

After only two and a half years living in this house, Loki has discovered the front door.

Our genius cat used to believe that while both of the side doors opened onto a wondrous cat paradise in which he would reign sovereign forever if only he could breach our defenses and escape, the front door opened onto some alternate dimension of horrors. Suffice it to say that while he would sprint out either of the side doors at the earliest opportunity, you could leave the front door standing wide open and he would act as if an invisible barrier existed there that he couldn't possibly penetrate. Also if I took Cricket outside the house for a veterinary visit and brought her back in one of the side doors he was fine with her, but if I brought her in the front door she was an Evil Cat Demon and he would spend the next three days attempting to exorcise her with his teeth.

Don't ask me why this was. I have no idea.

Well, no longer. Sometime in the past week Loki had a major revelation-- some sort of kitty Eureka-- and he realized that all of the doors lead to Paradise. Now I have to lock the darn cat in the bathroom every time I want to get something wider than just myself out the door, because he hides behind the wall dividing the kitchen from the entryway and then lunges for freedom every chance he gets. Either that or I must do the Great Foot Dance of The Cat Thwarter every time I wish to enter or leave the house, which consists of squeezing myself and Connor out the door sideways in the shortest possible amount of time while wiggling one foot directly in front of the cat's nose to prevent him from leaving as he darts first one way and then the other. This works about half of the time.

Connor thinks the whole thing is hilarious. Every time the cat wins and shoots past me, jerking me off balance and causing me to do a frantic one-footed jig in order to avoid plummeting down our front steps, he claps his hands in glee. I'm glad I provide such wonderful entertainment.

Our new place has the advantage of having only two doors, one of which has a very fast rebound-- it slams itself shut when you let go. I'm sure that getting whacked in the nose a couple of times will probably deter the cat pretty effectively from venturing out that way. The problem is that the other door is a sliding screen door. I shudder to think what our cat could do to a sliding screen door-- I'll have to rig up some sort of solid protective cover for the bottom half. I mean, he already went through a window in this house. I keep picturing a giant cat-shaped hole in the middle of the screen, like you see in the cartoons. This would probably not help us get our deposit back in a few years when we move out. At any rate, I'll either have to rig something up or we will never, ever be able to use that door, which in an apartment with no air conditioning, would be Very Sad.

Crazy cat.



Julia O'C said...

Squirt gun? Spray bottle? Picture this: You leave the house walking backward, holding Connor in one arm, while frantically spraying the cat with the other. It would be like some low-budget cop show, only with water instead of bullets! Cats instead of bad guys! And Connor, your trusty sidekick, laughing and clapping the whole time.

J. said...

thanks for the laugh out loud visual - you dancing the jig! I feel your pain, good luck.

Blog Directory