Tuesday, January 26, 2010

In Which I Display A Little More Of My Unhinged Creative Side

Because I have a wildly out of control bad habit for making up terrible song lyrics that has raged for years (No really-- my brother and I rewrote the entire Little Mermaid song "Under the Sea" when we were seven and nine respectively and made it about cats. It was entitled, as I recall, "Under the Chair." It was horrible.) guess what I just spent entirely too much time working on?

Rowbert's theme song is set to the theme music of Transformers: The Movie, which came out in 1986. I was horribly disappointed the song (the Transformers one, not Rowbert's) didn't make its way into any of the new movies, even if it did have lousy lyrics. You can find the original lyrics in all their glory here, and the music over here. I suggest you listen to it while you read these to get the proper effect.

In case you miss the reference in the song, by the way, Parking Duck appeared in an earlier post and will guard the space that we need next to our van in order to deploy the ramp. He's in Phase I of our Rowbert Defense Modifications. Phase II involves growing some velociraptors from extracted DNA and raising them with surrogate duck parents to avoid potential tragic infighting within our combat team.

Anyway, enjoy!

Rowbert Van

Rowbert Van!

Stupid people walking right past you
Comin' from the mall
There's something you can do

Prepare to strike
There'll be no place to run
When they’re caught within the beam
Of our giant ion gun

Rowbert Van
More than you can see
Rowbert Van
Wheelchairs and weaponry

Run from these human infestations
Who are staring and pointing
And asking rude questions

Cornered now with them our captors
Until off of the roof
Come our velociraptors

Rowbert Van
More than you can see
Rowbert Van
Wheelchairs and weaponry
Rowbert Van

Parking Ducks wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of
The Idiotocons

Rowbert Van

It's judgment day and now we've made our stand
And for now the powers of darkness
Have been conquered with our van

The Battle's over but the war will begin soon
So watch out when we deploy our awesome ramp of doom!

Rowbert Van
Rowbert Van
Rowbert Van
Rowbert Van

More than you can see!

Rowbert Van!


Okay. I've gotten it out of my system and I'm done, I swear-- you can quit backing away slowly now.

~Jess

7 comments:

J. said...

unhinged is a good thing, it keeps us sane - that is a pretty cute theme song I will only worry if you get it painted on the side of the van.

Kelsey said...

hahahahahaha! That's amazing!

Terena said...

unhinged creativity is the best kind. Love it!

Wherever HE Leads We'll Go said...

I am in awe of your unhinged creativity! This song makes your Rowbert van sound pretty cool!

Cristina said...

LOL! My husband turned into an excited little boy when he heard the original 80s version coming out of my computer speakers. He then got jealous and asked why I couldn't make a cool theme song for our car. :-P Maybe when we get our very own special robert-type van next year. ;)

Anonymous said...
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Chloe's Mommy said...

The Hubbs and I are constantly making up nonsensical song lyrics for our kids (furry and human), too. Unhinged is good!

 
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