In Which I'm Sans Computer

Unfortunately my laptop is currently a lovely paperweight but is good for very little else.  So expect shorter entries for a little while until I have a new one.  I ask that you be forgiving about spelling too for a bit-- I'm typing this on the iPad and you wouldn't believe how fiddly the little keyboard is.  Also it keeps trying to auto fill everything I write with some creative but nonsensical word choices. Huzzah.  Or as autocorrect would have it, 'Hazard.' Alrighty then.

Anyway, today was just as busy as expected; Connor and I spent all day running around to various medical facilities taking care of things.  His neurologist was very pleased with how Connor's seizures have stabilized (we're generally only seeing one every two-three weeks unless Connor is sick, and they're usually under a minute) and didn't want to mess with his medication.  It probably helps that the kiddo has been the same size for about a year and a half now, so adjusting for weight hasn't really been a problem.

The kids are going to be getting quite a bit of time with their grandparents this weekend, because I'll be at the Refresh Adoption Conference up in Redmond.  I would totally link to it if I could get it to work on the dang iPad without it freezing, but that's not working out for me.  Sorry about that.  Anyway, it's the first time I've been to an adoption conference, and I'm really looking forward to connecting with other parents and listening to some interesting seminars!  It will be nice to have a bit of time to myself too, after the hectic week we've had around here.  I hope it will be fun!

~Jess

In Which We're Back To Business As Usual

This morning we celebrated Eden's adoption at our church, which was lovely.  It's so nice to have a community that supports us and really makes us all feel at home!  And my parents brought a cake, which was an added bonus.  You can never go wrong with cake.

Connor stayed up until five in the morning, so we were all pretty tired though-- except for Eden, who was full of her usual energy.  I suspect she was a bit bored today, as we spent most of our time quietly at home.  Oh well-- we'll have a busy schedule tomorrow.  The little guy crashed at around seven and we have our night nurse anyway, so we should get plenty of sleep tonight.  Hooray for sleep!

Both the kids are off of school for their Winter Break, so we can all sleep in for a bit tomorrow.  Both the kids have their therapies though, and I need to get a bunch of last-minute things done for Christmas.  It always seems to sneak up on me!

~Jess

In Which We Have A Daughter For Keeps

We're officially a family of four!

I'm so, so happy to announce that today, just after nine in the morning, we stood before a judge and finalized our adoption forever.  It was an emotional and jubilant day, and I'm so, so glad we've finally gotten there!

We were all a bit nervous-- Eden in particular-- as we headed into the court room.  The judge was fantastic, however, and put us all at ease by trying out some Thai on us!  It turns out he'd recently traveled to Thailand, so he knew a few words.

We were sworn in, confirmed that we wanted finalize, and Eden told everyone that she wanted to be adopted by us.  The judge made the big decree with a smile on his face; it was obvious he loved presiding over adoptions!  Then our pastor, who was kind enough to accompany us to the court room on our big day, said a few lovely words.  After that I tried to say something about how proud and happy I was to see this day, and instead managed to cry instead.  Oh well!

My parents came with us, and it was so nice to have them there in the court room with us to share in our joy as our family was confirmed in the eyes of the law.  Eden's name has been legally changed now to the full name she chose for herself, and we can now move on to the next step (yes, there are still more steps to the adoption process) and apply for her U.S. citizenship.

So we've declared today to be our official "Family Day," and we plan to celebrate it every year.

I'm so glad we're a family forever!

~Jess

In Which It's Almost The Big Day

So today Eden and I went out shopping for a new snazzy outfit, because tomorrow is our adoption finalization!  It's so exciting to know that in just a few hours we'll be standing up in court and reaffirming our promise to care and love her as her parents forever.  We'll finally be a family not just in our hearts, but legally as well.  We're all a bit nervous, but really happy the day is here after such a long wait.

So I took Eden out and got her a whole new outfit for the big day.  The shopping trip was a lot of fun, with one exception.  We were almost finished and just looking for a really nice blouse or shell to go with the rest of her outfit, and we stopped in a store called Thorium at the local mall in Puyallup.  We'd been in a couple of times before and really liked a lot of their stuff.

Eden and I were not dressed up for the occasion, and we'd been shopping for an hour and a half or so at this point so we were looking a bit worse for wear.  One of the employees at the store walked up as we entered and asked us what we were looking for.  I showed her Eden's new blazer, told her we were looking for something to go underneath it, and told her a bit about Eden's style-- nothing frilly, girly, etc.

"What's your price range?" she asked, looking Eden up and down.  I told her the lower end of my budget, which I knew from past shopping trips in the store was within the range of what they had.  "Well, I might have a few things," she said in a dubious tone, "but we mostly carry designer clothes here.  Sorry."

Yeah.

So that's one store I will never be shopping in ever, ever again.  Too bad-- they had some cute shoes.  Evidently Eden doesn't look like the type of kid who would wear designer clothes.  She was really, really quiet on the way home.  Way to put a damper on the occasion, Thorium.

Other than that, the day went well.  We eventually found what we were looking for at another store, and so we're all ready for our big day tomorrow!  Connor only had one seizure and it was a pretty short one, and since the kids are missing school for court tomorrow they're now officially on Winter Break.  Christmas is coming up fast, and I can't think of a better way to spend it than as an official, legal family.  Best Christmas ever!

~Jess

In Which Many Many Things Happen

Well today was eventful!  I dropped the kids off for school and then spent the morning filling out paperwork in preparation for my intake meeting with our new respite care home health agency.  Even with filling out all the paperwork in advance, our meeting ended up being nearly two hours long.  I'll also probably be talking by phone with our assigned nurse tomorrow, and I'll be doing an orientation with her on Friday.  It's amazing how large an instructional manual I need for my kid; Connor's a complicated little guy.

I'm really excited to be starting up respite again, though; it's going to be great to not only have some occasional alone time in the evenings (while Eden's at swim practice) but also to be able to spend some one-on-one time with the Little Miss as well.  We're going to have our first outing this Saturday, and I think we'll have a pretty good time.  Connor will still be getting his Mommy-and-Boy time with me during Eden's swim practices where I don't have respite care, so I think this will work out well and the kids will both be getting some balanced time.

After my meeting I made a quick stop at Eden's school, ran back home and ate lunch, and then I was off to pick up Connor.  The oxygen equipment technician was waiting outside our door when we got back to do some routine maintenance on Connor's condenser.  Then I helped Eden with her homework while Connor had his quiet time.  Then we were off to the store, and then there was dinner to make and more homework and our nightly reading time and Connor's medications and bedtime for Connor and then Eden and then I kind of collapsed in a little heap in my easy chair and didn't move until it was time to let the night nurse in.  It was a busy day.

Eden's reading time, by the way, is probably the best thing in the universe.  Her English teacher wrote home saying the kids needed to be reading out loud for twenty minutes every school night.  We sort of neglected to tell Eden that it was only school nights the kids were required to be doing this, so we read twenty minutes every night.  Eden used to grumble and groan about this, but now she actually asks to do her reading time.  Of course, it might have something to do with the fact that she can't play on the iPad until her reading is done, but hey-- whatever works, right?  Anyway, not only is her reading seriously improving, but the twenty minutes of reading is basically an excuse for her to have my undivided attention the entire time, and get a little bit of snuggling in with my girl as well.  Right now the reading is very much a collaborative project; she still needs help with every third or fourth word in a sentence.  So we have to sit close together so that we can both see the book, which is great for that bonding and attachment that is so important to any adoption.

It's also a fantastic opportunity to introduce various pop culture references, slang, idioms, etc. that she'll run into over her middle school and high school years.  We've worked our way through four books now, that have slowly upped in vocabulary and maturity level.  We started out with a collection of For Better or Worse, worked our way through Amelia Bedelia Means Business, and then tackled Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life.  Currently we're reading Awkward, which is a book about a high school girl whose embarrassing video goes viral on the Internet.

Though it's true that because the books contain language and phrases that are popular in teen culture it can get a bit awkward sometimes (ever tried explaining the phrase "that's what she said" to a kid with a limited English vocabulary?) talking about the characters in the books is a great way to have conversations about a lot of topics that most teenagers are familiar with but that are new to Eden.  They also provide opportunities to talk about some of the cultural differences between American and Thai teens, and to draw parallels between the experiences the characters have with what we encounter in our daily lives.  We've probably got a few more weeks to go before this book is finished, but if anyone has any recommendations for what we might tackle next, I'm all ears.

Not that I need any excuse to read more books.  Oh well.

~Jess

In Which We Do Our Best To Balance

We had a super, super busy day today!  We had church, and then while Eden practiced for the Christmas play, Connor and I ran home and made some asparagus for a potluck, which happened right after practice was over.  We stayed until nearly three in the afternoon, and then went home so the Little Miss could finish some work on a school project.  Then we headed out to get her a new backpack, since the holes in her old one have gotten two big to cover with duct tape.  This is her third backpack this year; the kid's hard on the things!  Hopefully this one will be sturdy enough to last her a while.

Connor had two seizures today but otherwise seemed to be feeling pretty well.  I think these were probably of the 'every two weeks or so I must have a seizure' variety; I swear he schedules the things.  If he starts getting sick we'll know otherwise, but so far so good.

We had to choose between going to the potluck and going to the annual Loi Krathong celebration at the local wat.  I let Eden decide what she wanted to do this year, and she opted to go to the potluck since it was indoors and it was raining and very cold outside (the festival is held outdoors).  I suggested that we have our own celebration at home if she didn't want to go to the festival, but she said she would rather not.  It's been tough trying to balance activities with the Thai community here with the other many things Eden has going on; I want to make sure she has those connections, but I also don't want to force that sort of thing on her and right now she's not all that interested.

I think right now she's more concerned with fitting into our immediate community, and she's put making connections with other Thai Americans on the back burner.  I suspect she sees being Thai as being 'different' from most of the people around her, and she wants to focus on blending in as much as possible.  I hope, however, that she'll eventually want to take part in events with the the Thai community again.  I won't push her, but I'll keep presenting opportunities and letting her know that our whole family enjoys participating in Thai cultural events and holidays.  We'll be traveling back to Thailand in a couple of years to visit; maybe that will spark an interest for her again.

She's retaining all of her Thai with no trouble though, which is a very good thing.  We want her to be able to travel between Thailand and America and feel like she can fit in wherever she is, and language is such a fundamental part of that process.  I've read so many essays about how many internationally adopted children who lose their native language later feel that they don't fit well in either America or the country of their birth, and while there's no way that we can completely avoid this issue we'd like to make sure Eden is as comfortable as possible balancing between her birth country and her new nation.

~Jess

In Which It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas Already, Which Is Kind of Nuts

Today Connor and I had a bit of a slow start; after I gave him his morning meds I went back to bed and we both slept in a while.  It felt really strange not needing to get up and get the day started!  I finally dragged myself out of bed and woke Connor up, and we puttered around the house a bit before heading over to my parents' house for lunch.  I love having them so close by now; it's great to be able to spend so much time with them!

Then my mom and I went out and did a bit of what turned into early Christmas shopping, which wasn't our original intent.  Christmas definitely sneaked up on me this year; it doesn't seem like we should be anywhere close to December yet!  I'm totally not ready and I hadn't even started thinking about presents or decorations, but from the way the stores were decked out you'd think the holiday was next week.  What the heck happened to Thanksgiving in the retail world, anyway?  I'm pretty sure that stuff was all on the shelves before Halloween.  The mall had the 50 foot tall Christmas trees up already, which Connor was excited by, though he didn't demand we get them as presents for all our relatives this year.  I guess the kid is growing up and he's too cool to demand giant Christmas trees as presents.  I kind of miss it-- can't believe how big he's getting.  Can you believe he'll be eight next year?  That's crazy talk, people.


Eden spent the whole day out at her retreat and didn't get back until around nine in the evening.  She told me "I had a good time, but I really really happy to see my bed!"  She was in her pajamas fifteen minutes after she got home, and in bed five minutes after that-- I've never seen the kid get ready for sleeping so quickly or enthusiastically.  Evidently the retreat was fun but also exhausting.  She said she'd definitely like to go back sometime, which was great to hear.  I think they do a summer camp as well, so that might be a really good option for her next year.

I'm so glad she enjoyed herself, and I'm really proud of her for handling being away from home so well.  Trusting that we'll still be here when she returns is a huge step for her, and I think a hallmark of growing maturity and understanding that our family is not a temporary stop for her, but a permanent home.  Hooray for our girl!

~Jess

In Which I Sort Of Explain

Hello, friends.  It's been a long, long time.

So it's been nearly a year since I started this whole Parenting-A-Teenager journey, and let me just say that adopting an older child is every bit as much an extreme sport as roller derby.  The last few months have been. . . intense.  We've had a lot going on around here, and shortly after I wrote my last post things exploded and it became evident that it would be best if I took a hiatus from the Internet entirely until it settled down around here a bit.  So I just sort of walked away from it, and I stopped checking my e-mail and Facebook and everything because everybody wanted to know why I wasn't blogging and I couldn't figure out how to answer that question without sharing way more information than would be appropriate or healthy for our girl.  Sorry about that, everyone.

After a few months of intensive counseling multiple times a week we've made some significant progress, and I'm feeling comfortable with the idea of starting to write about my family again. I want to make it clear that we have zero regrets about the choice we made to pursue Eden's adoption and we're still fully committed to her (and should hopefully be finalizing next month!).  We'll be continuing to help her grow and heal over the next few years as she forges on towards adulthood.  I won't be going into any more detail about the last few months to protect her privacy, but I'll just say that it's been an extremely difficult period for all parties involved and leave it at that.

So a quick update on the rest of the family:

Connor's doing wonderfully and is as adorable as ever.  The kid's been working in a walker and that was going well for a while, but he now seems to have lost interest in it so we're taking a break.  He's getting over a cold at the moment, and is currently snoring and snortling away like a little pug dog in his room.  He's on the mend and felt much better today though, so he spent a large portion of his time amusing himself by asking to snuggle with me and then blowing his nose on my shirt.  Ah, the joys of motherhood.

Jer's doing well at Physician's Assistant school and is nearly done with his classroom time.  He's been gone seventeen months now and I am so, so ready for him to be home.  Unfortunately he'll be stationed in California for his year of clinicals so I'll be continuing my sort-of single parenthood for a while yet, but we hope he'll be doing at least a few of his rotations up this way, so we should see a lot more of him.  I've been checking train schedules for the line that runs down the California cost, and we're making plans to have some fun adventures together.

So anyway, here I am again-- thanks for being patient with me.  We'll be returning to our regularly scheduled programming of daily blogging now.  Huzzah!

~Jess

In Which We Get Some More Fantastic Adoption News

We got some great news today!  The social worker in Thailand has approved an adoption board date of December 19th for us, pending our Article 5 paperwork.  We also received word today that the US embassy has received our I-800 paperwork and can begin work on issuing our Article 5-- the last piece of paperwork we need before travel.  We should hopefully have that within two weeks. 

So our plane tickets have been bought and our hotel is booked!  I fly out on December 10th, and Jeremy will follow a few days later-- he's currently in a school for the army and his finals are that week, so he'll fly out as soon as he's finished with those.  We should meet Ellen some time during that first week.  We'll have our board date on December 19th, and if all goes well we should be home with Ellen two days before Christmas! 

It seems so surreal that in a mere seven and a half weeks we'll be in Thailand!  I've spent so much time dreaming about the day I would finally meet my daughter, and in less than two months that dream will finally be a reality.  This whole time that day has seemed so far in the future, and suddenly it's right around the corner. 

It's the same sort of feeling I got at the tail end of my pregnancy with Connor-- the whole idea of having a baby "someday" seemed to last forever, and then towards the middle of the last trimester all of the sudden it hit me that hey, I was actually having a baby soon!  I'm simultaneously elated and terrified, but I'm so happy that we're almost there.  December can't come fast enough.

I can't wait to meet her!

~Jess

In Which We Hear Some Wonderful News

We received some stunning news today; our agency has received Ellen's To Whom It May Concern Letter!  This was the last major piece of paperwork we needed from the Thai government in order to bring our daughter home.  It will still take a little while to file her immigration paperwork, procure our final approval from the embassy and receive our invitation to travel, but we're anticipating flying to Thailand in December of this year.  We should become a family of four just before Christmas: about three weeks before Ellen's fifteenth birthday.  I'm giddy just typing those words.

In just a few months we'll be face to face with our daughter for the first time.  Instead of visiting the orphanage website to see what she's eating, we'll be sitting down to dinner with her.  We'll be learning her favorite song, the cadence of her laugh, how she holds a spoon and what kind of tea she drinks.  We won't have to content ourselves with poring over pictures or video of her, because she'll be sitting right in front of us. 

It's been a long journey-- through night and day, and in and out of weeks, and almost over a year (or two).  But soon all the waiting will finally be over, and our real wild rumpus can begin.

We don't live in a Lifetime movie; there will be no ticker tape parade when we first meet.  She's not going to run into our arms and then we'll all dance off into the sunset together into some unimaginably happy life while the credits roll.  Adoption is messy and painful and tragic and somehow breathtakingly beautiful all at the same time, much like the rest of life.  Our daughter is an incredibly brave, resilient, extraordinary girl whose very foundation was torn apart in infancy, and she didn't get to choose the path she's been set on.  She'll have nearly fifteen years of life that we weren't a part of, and she has every right to be hurt and angry, to miss the familiar faces, smells and comforts of Thailand, and to resent the strangers who have uprooted her to bring her halfway across the world.  We don't expect things to be easy.

We can't change the past for her, as much as we'd like to.  We're not able to reach out and fix things so that she was never in the situation where she needed to be adopted-- much less adopted by a family from a different country and culture.  And we can't make up for all those years we weren't there.  But what we can do is choose to be her family now. 

We can keep ourselves from trying to fit her into a mold of our making.  To help her and support her wherever her journey might take her, to give her unconditional love and a home to return to no matter how far she might travel and what monsters lie in wait.  To say no sometimes when it's needed.  To hold her hand when her heart is broken.  To help her move into her first apartment and to walk her down the aisle at her wedding.  To be there for the big events but also for the small ones-- for homework and swim meets and sick days and all the minutiae of daily living that most children are able to take for granted that someone will be there to help them with. 

We can do our best to live up to the tremendous, precious gift we've been given; the chance to be a part of our daughter's life and to stand by her as we watch her write her own story in the years to come.

Though we'll do everything in our power to help her journey, we can't promise her that it will always be a smooth one.  But we can promise that we'll sail with her every mile of the way.  And no matter how far away her travels take her, there will be always be a room and a hot supper waiting for her here.

We'll see you soon, daughter.  We can't wait to welcome you home!

~Jess

   

In Which We Take A Family Day And All's Quiet On The Adoption Front

We spent a quiet day at home today, because a certain stubborn little guy decided to stay up until three in the morning.  So I didn't really feel a whole lot like going out today, and judging by the fact that he fell asleep at seven in the evening he probably didn't either.

So we spent the day doing laundry, a bit of cleaning, and snuggling up on the couch to eat ice cream and watch the paralympics on my laptop.  I took a break from crafting today and we just had some family time, which was nice.  Everyone needs some quiet family time every once in a while!

Connor starts school up next week, and he seems pretty excited about it.  I'm still shocked that he's going to be in first grade-- that just doesn't seem possible.  I remember being in first grade.  I also remember that I thought my parents were ancient.  I believe I seriously asked my mother at that age whether or not she was around when dinosaurs ruled the earth.  And now in my son's eyes I'm the one who might have grown up eating wooly mammoth for breakfast.  Crazy. 

It just doesn't seem like he could possibly be six years old.  And heck, for that matter we'll have been pursuing Ellen's adoption for two years in October, which doesn't seem possible either.  She's probably coming up on her fall break right now; most Thai children have a break between semesters in September.  She's growing up and we're missing it.  I hope we'll get some news soon; she's been waiting far too long already. 

We're still really hoping to have her home by the end of the year, but December is coming up very soon and we're still waiting on her To Whom It May Concern letter.  We know that the Thai government is doing their very best for these children, but that doesn't mean it's easy to wait-- especially since Ellen will be turning fifteen in January.  We'd really, really like to have her home before she has another birthday.  Let's hope we get some good news this month!

~Jess

In Which I Paint A Room

Today I figured it was time to get started painting Ellen's room!

I've never painted a room before, and I have to say that it ended up being a lot easier than I expected.  We didn't need a primer and the paint was forgiving and went on really easily.  I did two walls of her room and left the other two (and the ceiling) the color that most of the house is painted.  I think it looks pretty nice.

I did have one Heart Attack Moment when I discovered that a spot of paint had soaked through my drop cloth and into the carpet on the other side, but luckily some water and a little elbow grease got the spot up and you can't tell it was there at all now.  At one point Loki also managed to get into the room and narrowly missed running through my paint tray, which would have been a complete and total disaster.  Luckily Jeremy managed to corral him before he did any major damage.

The whole thing, with prep and taping, took me about three hours and the room looks completely different now.  It's amazing what a coat of paint can do.

Ellen picked out a beautiful blue for her bedroom, and I have to say that I'm loving this color now that it's actually on the walls.  It's so happy and airy, and it makes her room feel about ten times larger.  I finished too late in the day to get any really good pictures so you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see how it looks, but here's a picture of me in-progress so you can get an idea of what the color looks like. 

I'll also be sure to post before-and-after pictures once I've got the rest of the room set up, which will probably happen in the next few days.  Tomorrow the plan is to go furniture shopping-- she still needs a mattress, desk, dresser and shelving.  Once we've got all that in place, I make the last of her pillows and her quilt arrives her room should be ready for her to come home and put the finishing touches in place!

Huzzah!

~Jess

In Which We Drop Off Some Things For Ellen And Have A Busy Day

We had a pretty busy day today!

Connor had a great day at school, and we stayed a little late afterwards so his physical therapist could try out some kinesio tape along the little guy's spine.  We've got a little while before his back brace will be made, so she wants to see if she can get him to use his back muscles a bit more in the meantime.  We'll be keeping a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't have a reaction to the adhesive from the tape.  So far so good.

After that we stopped in at the house so Connor could have some quiet time and I could make some phone calls and take care of some chores.   Then I loaded up the car with the donations for Ellen's orphanage I've collected over the past year and with her latest care package, which was Valentine's day themed.  It may end up arriving sooner than her last care package, which we sent off a couple of weeks ago, because it will be delivered in person.  Our adoption agency leaves next week for Thailand, and they'll be visiting Ellen on one of the first days they are there! 

Hopefully the visit will go well and we'll have a better idea of what the status is of her file when they get back.  Our dossier will have been in Thailand a year in March, so we probably still have another year or longer before we can expect to travel.  It's likely that they are still compiling Ellen's file and completing her background check-- basically an exhaustive amount of research making absolutely sure that the potential international adoption is legal, ethical and the best available option for her, and that there's no possibility of her being cared for by someone in her birth family or being adopted in Thailand. 

In the meantime I'm slowly continuing to learn Thai-- I've got a pretty good handle on the alphabet now, though I'm sure my handwriting is probably atrocious.  I haven't plucked up the courage yet to write anything in Thai on Ellen's letters other than her name on the envelope because I still don't know enough Thai to do more than copy phrases out of books, and I'm afraid I'll screw up, think I'm writing something like "We love to cook Thai food for dinner" and actually end up writing something like "We love to cook Thai children for dinner."  There's nothing like promoting cannibalism to make a good impression on your future kid. 

So we'll continue to rely on our agency's more than competent translator and I'll stick to just practicing for now. 

I can say a few short phrases in Thai now too, but I don't know how useful they'll be in communicating with Ellen.  There are only so many situations in which a phrase like "the boys are reading" is going to be relevant, and while I can also discuss the current reading status of a man, men, woman, women, boy, girl and girls this doesn't extend my conversational skills by much.  Hopefully by the time Ellen comes home I'll know a bit more! 

The agency will be taking a video camera with them and we're hoping that Ellen might be able to demonstrate some of her English, pass on some questions for us or tell us things she'd like us to know, but it will be completely understandable if that doesn't happen.  My guess is that if you pull any fourteen year old girl out of whatever it is she's in the middle of doing and stick her in a room full of strangers who point a video camera at her and ask her personal questions through a translator, she's not exactly going to be a Chatty Cathy.  We've been blessed enough to see some of her amazing personality shining through in pictures over the past year in situations where she's more comfortable, so we'll just be happy to see her on film even if she doesn't say a single word. 

And hopefully when our agency gets back we'll have a better idea of where we are on the timeline.  Keep your fingers crossed for us that things have been moving along!

~Jess

In Which Connor Is Sick And We Resend Some Letters

So it seems my Internet is only going to cooperate before noon in fifteen minute intervals right now.  Expect erratic blogging until things settle back down to normal over here. 

Connor's potassium levels came back normal yesterday, thank goodness!  So that means he's probably got a GI bug.  He did a little bit better yesterday-- only three seizures-- but he's still throwing up all over the place so he stayed home from school again. It's just been one thing after another for the kid this winter.  He seems to be feeling better again this morning, so hopefully he'll be back in school tomorrow for the first time in over a week.    

We resent Ellen's Christmas and birthday letters to the translator; it looks like she might not have received them originally.  No wonder it's taken so long!  So I'll either combine Ellen's Christmas and birthday care packages or she'll get two in close proximity.  I'm putting together her February care package right now too (Conversation Hearts, anyone?) but I'll send it towards the end of February so we don't overwhelm her with mail.  Our adoption agency will be making their annual trip over some time in the next few months, which is always exciting!  Our dossier will have been over in Thailand a year in March, and the process for first approval seems to be taking between 18-24 months right now.  So the earliest we could expect to hear anything might be around September.  We'll just have to see how things go, but it would be fantastic to have her home before she turns fifteen!

~Jess

In Which We Watch A Tear-Jerker And I Survey My Shelves

So today Connor and I watched the 25th anniversary DVD edition of Les Miserables in between loads of laundry.  Well, I watched it, anyway-- Les Mis is not the most exciting movie ever for a five year old, though he did enthusiastically participate in some of the musical numbers.  It's been a while since I've seen it because my 10th anniversary edition is VHS and we don't have a player for it right now, so I was psyched when I got the DVD for Christmas.

Les Miserables is my favorite musical of all time, despite the fact that it makes me weep uncontrollably for several hours.  I've never seen it in person, but the 10th anniversary edition came out on video when I was 13 and I remember having sleepovers with my friends where we'd watch it together, sometimes multiple times a night.  We'd all read the book, and we'd sit around and discuss it and the musical with passion most teenagers at the time reserved for the latest episodes of 90210.  Nothing like a little 19th century literature to get the girls squealing, right?  We were kind of strange kids.

Oh, and also we watched it because we thought the guy who played Marius was totally hot.  So maybe we weren't that strange after all.   

Anyway, so I was watching while folding laundry and bawling, and I realized that John Valjean, the character the book and musical revolve around, is an adoptive parent.  That made me wonder just how many of our movies and books involve characters who are orphans. 

Answer: a lot. 

Out of curiosity I made up a list of the kids movies we have on our shelves that involve a main character who was either an orphan or a foundling, and here's what I came up with: Lilo and Stitch, The Sword And The Stone, Jungle Book, Tangled, Snow White, Enchanted, Cinderella, The Little Princess, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Anne of Green Gables, Harry Potter, Oliver, Hercules, The Rescuers, All Dogs Go To Heaven, Peter Pan, James And The Giant Peach, Tarzan, Anastasia, The Secret Garden, Stuart Little, and of course, Annie.  Whew!

And that's just the movies.  Orphans in books-- especially young adult and childrens' books-- are so prevalent that I actually studied the Orphan Archetype in one of my literature classes.  If I listed all of the books I have on my shelves that contain orphan protagonists we'd be here all night.  And I'm pretty sure it's not just because I have an insane number of books and an eye for fictional characters that are plucky young orphans. 

I wonder which of the books and movies Ellen will identify with!  Of course I hope she'll enjoy Les Miserables (and there's a chance she will, because the DVD version I have stars one of the Jonas Brothers and I've been informed by the teenage daughter of a friend that he is "like, still totally hot, even though they are so not cool now").  I'm kind of curious now as to just how many kids books and movies are out there that feature a Plucky Young Orphan protagonist.  I looked for a list online, but haven't been able to find anything.  If one of you knows of a list, will you point me in the right direction? 

~Jess

In Which We Are Fingerprinted And I Receive An Unusual Compliment

So this morning we went in to get our fingerprints redone.  It wasn't nearly as crowded as the last time we went in; I don't know if we just got lucky or if fewer people have fingerprinting appointments during the holidays.  At any rate, we were in and out this time within twenty minutes.

They use a digital machine these days-- none of that ink-and-paper business.  The lady who did my fingerprints was very quiet until she put my first finger on the scanner, which is when her whole face lit up.  "You have beautiful fingerprints!" she gushed.  "They are perfect.  So easy to take.  It is a pleasure to work with fingerprints like yours."

Now that's not a compliment you hear very often.

This woman sees hundreds of fingerprints every day, so of course mine must be truly exceptional if they made her exclaim over them.  So now I'm thinking maybe I should look into a career as a fingerprint model.  I'm sure there's a huge demand for that sort of thing, for crime shows and mystery book covers and whatnot.  I'll be waiting to hear from an agent.  The deals should be rolling in soon.

As we were walking back to the car, I accosted Jeremy.  "Why don't you ever compliment me about my fingerprints?" I asked him.  "Why do I have to hear about them from someone else?" 

Men.  Really.

So anyway, now we've got that finished again and hopefully we won't have to redo it before Ellen comes home.  It would be fantastic if we could travel sometime in 2012!  I guess we'll just have to see what the new year brings.

Besides me starting a glove collection, of course.  I have to protect my best feature from wear and tear!

~Jess

In Which Connor Is Sick Again

The good news is that Connor's eyes (yes, he ended up with pink eye in both eyes) look about 800% better after a day and a half of eye drops.  Those things work fast!  The bad news is that he's once again running a mystery fever.  He spent about two thirds of the day asleep today and crashed hard when it was time for bed.  So it looks like he's picking up a new bug.  Again.  Fun times.

Jer and I have to leave him with Joanna tomorrow morning despite him feeling punky, though, because we've got our fingerprinting appointment for our adoption USCIS update.  I'm a little unsure of why they have to take our fingerprints again; I wouldn't think they would have changed all that much.  Oh well.  At any rate, once we get this taken care of and they prove that we haven't morphed into different people in the past year we should be cleared for Ellen's adoption until early 2013.  I'm hoping that this is the only time we'll have to update our immigration paperwork and that she'll be home before then!

~Jess

In Which Connor's Day Goes Downhill And We Get A Letter

We received a letter in the mail today from USCIS, saying that they'd received our application for renewal of our adoption approval and would be processing it over the next several weeks.  So we're one step closer to being approved by US Immigration for another year to adopt Ellen.  Our current approval expires in December.

So sometime over the next few weeks we'll be getting another letter requesting that we go and get fingerprinted again.  Then once we receive our new approval we should be good for another year.  We're hoping that this will be the only time we have to get our approval renewed.  No news on that front, though.

Connor had a rough day today; he stayed up until nearly three in the morning and of course had to get up for school.  He was not particularly excited about me waking him up, but apparently he had a pretty good day in school anyway.  He had his first seizure shortly after he got up from his quiet time, and then two more over the course of the day.  He's not running a fever and doesn't seem to be sick this time, so we're probably just headed into another seizure cycle, which is never fun.

I hope he has a better day tomorrow.

~Jess

In Which We Receive A Fantastic Surprise

We received a very welcome surprise today; new pictures of Ellen!

This kid has at least a million watt smile; I swear she could light an entire city with that grin.  It was head lice treatment day at the orphanage (probably a pretty frequent day, as there are a lot of kids and they all share clothes) so in the pictures she's wearing a shower cap.  She's holding some of the presents from the latest care package we sent her, and in one of the photos she's put on her new sunglasses and is striking a pose, shower cap and all.  She's definitely got a good sense of humor!

It's so great to get the chance to see little glimpses of her personality shining through in pictures, and I love knowing more about what's going on in her life.  We're so far away and the wait is so long that sometimes it's hard to feel connected; we know we'll bring her home someday, but we have no idea when that day will be. 

So I do my best to find little ways to make the wait not seem quite as long and to keep engaged with what she might be doing.  I keep track of Thai holidays (and Thailand has a lot of holidays), so I know what kind of celebrations or activities she might be participating in.  Her school posts up an online calendar, so I know when her school breaks start and what kind of classes she might be taking.  Her orphanage website puts up a daily menu of what the kids are eating for lunch and dinner, so once or twice a week I'll check in.  That way I have a general idea of what she's eating.  I'd say probably nine times out of ten it involves chicken-- I'm assuming probably because it's inexpensive, nutritious and easy to prepare. The kids look well fed and healthy, so I think it's probably working out for them.  I'd probably better bone up on my chicken recipes since that's what she'll be used to.

I may have to pull out some more exotic ingredients, though, because sometimes I have absolutely no idea what the heck she's eating.  Since the website is in Thai, I have to rely on Google Translate and it has a tendency to creatively interpret menu items.  Last week I checked in to discover she was apparently being served "Heavenly Boot Dumplings" with a side of "Creamed Destiny" for lunch. 

I have no idea what Creamed Destiny is, but it probably has chicken in it.

So I use my imagination a lot; I know the time difference between our cities and I can speculate about when she might be getting up, if she might be swimming right now, whether or not she might be enjoying her Creamed Destiny, etc.  But it's all pure speculation.  And that's one of the reasons why I love  pictures of her-- because for that one captured moment I know what it is that she was doing.  And in the pictures we received today, she was grinning that amazingly contagious smile, holding the presents we'd lovingly packaged for her, and thinking about us.  For that one moment, we're connected.  Until the day we finally meet, it's the closest I can come to reaching out my arms to my daughter. 

When she imagines us and breaks out in that beautiful smile, I hope she knows we're smiling back.

~Jess

In Which We Have A Lazy Day

Connor had yet another sleepless night; he woke up off and on through the wee hours.  I find that I prefer having my sleep in four hour blocks (even if four hours is all I get) rather than two hour time blocks throughout the night.  I ended up taking a really long nap in the afternoon, which was nice except now I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep!  Oh well.

Jer and I spent a lazy day today; other than Connor's daily golf cart ride we pretty much stuck to the house.  It's been so nice to have that option; normally our days are so busy that we have to catch quick moments to ourselves, so it's a luxury to have so much free time together.  We got to see some really neat pictures of Jer's aunt's trip to Egypt, which made me think a lot about how excited I am to get to travel to Thailand!  Not that our trip will be any time soon; we'll be lucky if we're traveling this time next year.  But it's fun to think about how we'll plan things and what we'll try to see while we're there.  Hopefully we'll have time to do at least a little bit of sightseeing with Ellen when we go.

Her care package should have gotten there by now, and I'll be working on a second one to send to her when we get back from vacation!  I'm hoping it didn't get held up in customs or anything; this is the first time we've tried to send anything to her by mail so it's kind of new territory for us.  I'm already thinking about what we should send her for the next one!  I'd like to get at least two or three more off to her before our agency travels to Thailand again in the fall.

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about how great it will be to show Ellen the lake when she gets here.  Some people don't like the idea of adopting older kids because then they miss all the "firsts:" first step, first loose tooth, etc.  But there are so many "firsts" that we'll get the chance to share with her, like her first time on a waverunner!  We'll get to take her fishing, out on a boat (though living in Thailand she's probably done that), for a spin in the golf cart, swimming in the lake and even wakeboarding or water skiing if that's something she wants to do. 

I can't wait to see her experience all of those things for the first time; I think it will make them just as new and exciting for me! 

~Jess