Thursday, August 13, 2009

Coping

No new information.

I spent a good portion of today running around trying to get Connor ready to travel, potentially for a long period of time, so that I can focus on Jeremy when he gets back to the states. No word yet on where he'll be returning to, but the odds are looking pretty good that it won't be to here. We may get as little as 24-48 hours notice that we'll be moving so I've got to have Connor totally squared away. Connor snapped a piece on one of his hearing aids yesterday, so I'll be taking him in to get it repaired tomorrow morning and to get new ear molds made for him. We're going to try to get his g-tube replacement moved up so that he's got a new one in and I don't have to worry about it for another four months. I've already talked with his primary care manager, neurologist, nutritionist, EFMP case manager, and therapists, and I have calls in to his cardiologist, gastroenterologist, and developmental pediatrician. Once we know where we're going I'll let them know and have them give the new doctors a briefing so we're not starting over from scratch and can make a smooth transition.

I talked to our apartment complex today; I don't think we'll be able to stay in this apartment, as it will be too small for the additional equipment we'll probably need, and I don't know whether we'll eventually be returning here or if we'll be going somewhere else permanently, but they're willing to work with us. I've also contacted Connor's school district-- he was supposed to be starting up in early September, but that's pretty up in the air now.

I've been trying to keep Connor on as normal a routine as possible; he's very much a creature of habit and gets really stressed out when we change things. So we went to his Toddler Treasures reading group this morning at the library, and we'll go out to the farmer's market and our CSA tomorrow just as usual. I've told him what I think he'd understand: that Daddy was in an accident and got hurt, but he is at a hospital now and the doctors are taking good care of him and helping him get better, and also that he will be coming home early, and he'll be in a wheelchair just like Connor. Connor got "Daddy is coming home" out of that, and so now he's been acting really happy and excited and asking about Jer a lot. It's very sweet.

As for me, I'm doing fine. Okay, well I'm not doing fine but I'm coping and doing the best I can to stay busy. I've already discovered some things that I should avoid, such as listening to sappy music on the radio (bring on the Rage Against the Machine) or reading books with any kind of emotional content whatsoever (Where The Red Fern Grows is now back at the library). I know from prior experience that the worst thing I can do is sit around feeling helpless, so I'm making sure I'm devoting time to activities such as the things I did today that make me feel like I'm accomplishing something. I'm also eating and sleeping. Not sleeping well, but sleeping. And I'm making a lot of highly inappropriate jokes (Don't worry-- he'll walk it off!), which seems to be how this sort of thing affects me. Stress does funny things to people.

Speaking of stress: the cats have definitely picked up on it. It's pretty neat how animals do that. Any time I'm sitting down I now have both of them plopped down on various portions of my anatomy. Currently Loki is making a total nuisance of himself by shoving his head up under my chin while I'm trying to type, and Cricket just gave up trying to balance on my shoulders and is now sitting on the window sill butting me on the back of the head. Or maybe they're just out of food. At any rate it's nice to have something soft to cuddle, even if one of the somethings I'm cuddling has razor sharp claws that he's currently using to knead my chest. Ouch.

It's been amazing how many people have dropped me a note to tell me that they're thinking about us; I've received over 200 e-mails, phone calls or messages in the last couple of days. I had no idea there were so many people out there who cared so deeply about our family and it means a tremendous deal to me to hear from all of you. I'm still asking for get-well cards for Jeremy to keep his spirits up as he starts down the road to recovery, and I'll be printing off the e-mails I'm getting for him as well. Keep 'em coming!


~Jess

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, let me know if you need any help with the packing, and stuff, since it's a for sure thing that you're moving :(...I wished I couldn't spend more time w/ you these last months. We're gonna' miss you guys, and it was a pleasure meeting you all. I hope we can keep in touch.--Thanks again for keeping us all updated. We love you all..
-Alicia.

Anonymous said...

I typed I couldn't spend more time w/ you , instead of I could of spend more time w/ you...:(
-Alicia...

Connor's Mom said...

Not a for sure that we're moving-- just a strong possibility. I'll keep you posted; thanks for the offer of help. I might take you up on it.

~Jess

leah said...

Jess, you are the queen of organization. Hopefully they'll be able to move Connor's g-tube replacement up so that at least that is out of the way. I'm sure the little guy is going to be ecstatic to have Daddy back home.

I don't have any clue where to send a Get Well Soon card, but tell your husband that there are a lot of people pulling for him- even people that he doesn't know (g). We all want him to recover quickly and to get home. He is a real life Superman, helping the other soldiers when he was so wounded. I stand in awe of people like him- who have more courage and strength in their pinky finger than I'll ever have in my whole life.

Julia said...

Geez -- I had no idea all this might entail packing, moving, etc., on top of everything else. On the one hand, I'm sorry you've got your hands so full, but on the other, as you said it's good to keep busy. But that's an awful lot of busy. If I could think of an inappropriate joke, I'd share it, but I'm dry right now. Sounds like crisis serves to stimulate your creative juices!

Helene said...

I'm one who came from Lin's blog. As someone whose life changed dramatically when 2 1/2 years ago I got custody of my then 19 month old traumatized and developmentally delayed grandson, I really admire your strength at handling everything you mentioned. What a beautiful little blessing you have.
I'll be watching for updates and sending loads of prayers your way.

Wherever HE Leads We'll Go said...

I have been very far behind in my blog reading and had no idea any of this was going on. I am so sorry about your husband's injury! He is an amazing man for serving his country and for helping others even when he was hurt. Connor has a great example to follow and to learn from (in both parents).

I am glad that you have a lot to keep you busy, but I also hope that you have some time to process all of this and just cry if you need to - amazing how much a good cry can help sometimes!

I am praying for your husband's recovery, and your whole family as you are waiting for news. If you do have to move, I pray that things will go smoothly with all of Connor's doctors, therapists, etc. and that both Jeremy and Connor will get the care that they need.

Terry said...

You sure have a lot on your plate, Jess . . but I have noticed . . that you are quite the TROOPER. You are able to pull yourself together and get done what needs to be done. Just remember . . . you aren't a superwoman . . . that which can be done by someone else, ask . . when others offer assistance, take them up on it. I admire your strength and resolve . . . Jeremy has the same . . it is no wonder you two are such a perfect match . . but remember to take time to breathe, you need that. Connor AND Jeremy will be needing you. I don't know what they would do without you. You are a very special young lady and I am in awe of your attitude in regard to life . . . you have been blessed. Take care of yourself so you can take care of both of the men in your family. Your family will be in my prayers. God bless the three of you.
Terry Hernandez
Tyler's mom

rhemashope said...

hi connor's mom, i came over from mia's blog and just wanted to say that you and Jeremy and Connor are in our thoughts and prayers.

J. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J. said...

hang in there, thanks for the update. I hope that you get some more information and such soon so that you can start planning.

Julia O'C said...

Thinking of you, Jeremy and Connor.

Katy said...

When Charlie was in the hospital we watched a lot of Jon Stewart and my Friends DVDs. Nothing emotional for us--just funny stuff. Hang in there--sounds like you're handling it as well as could be expected.

SLColman said...

It is funny how we each cope with things. I know that you are going to continue doing well and getting through each day. Hopefully you will get some more answers quickly. Still praying for you all.

 
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