Coping

No new information.

I spent a good portion of today running around trying to get Connor ready to travel, potentially for a long period of time, so that I can focus on Jeremy when he gets back to the states. No word yet on where he'll be returning to, but the odds are looking pretty good that it won't be to here. We may get as little as 24-48 hours notice that we'll be moving so I've got to have Connor totally squared away. Connor snapped a piece on one of his hearing aids yesterday, so I'll be taking him in to get it repaired tomorrow morning and to get new ear molds made for him. We're going to try to get his g-tube replacement moved up so that he's got a new one in and I don't have to worry about it for another four months. I've already talked with his primary care manager, neurologist, nutritionist, EFMP case manager, and therapists, and I have calls in to his cardiologist, gastroenterologist, and developmental pediatrician. Once we know where we're going I'll let them know and have them give the new doctors a briefing so we're not starting over from scratch and can make a smooth transition.

I talked to our apartment complex today; I don't think we'll be able to stay in this apartment, as it will be too small for the additional equipment we'll probably need, and I don't know whether we'll eventually be returning here or if we'll be going somewhere else permanently, but they're willing to work with us. I've also contacted Connor's school district-- he was supposed to be starting up in early September, but that's pretty up in the air now.

I've been trying to keep Connor on as normal a routine as possible; he's very much a creature of habit and gets really stressed out when we change things. So we went to his Toddler Treasures reading group this morning at the library, and we'll go out to the farmer's market and our CSA tomorrow just as usual. I've told him what I think he'd understand: that Daddy was in an accident and got hurt, but he is at a hospital now and the doctors are taking good care of him and helping him get better, and also that he will be coming home early, and he'll be in a wheelchair just like Connor. Connor got "Daddy is coming home" out of that, and so now he's been acting really happy and excited and asking about Jer a lot. It's very sweet.

As for me, I'm doing fine. Okay, well I'm not doing fine but I'm coping and doing the best I can to stay busy. I've already discovered some things that I should avoid, such as listening to sappy music on the radio (bring on the Rage Against the Machine) or reading books with any kind of emotional content whatsoever (Where The Red Fern Grows is now back at the library). I know from prior experience that the worst thing I can do is sit around feeling helpless, so I'm making sure I'm devoting time to activities such as the things I did today that make me feel like I'm accomplishing something. I'm also eating and sleeping. Not sleeping well, but sleeping. And I'm making a lot of highly inappropriate jokes (Don't worry-- he'll walk it off!), which seems to be how this sort of thing affects me. Stress does funny things to people.

Speaking of stress: the cats have definitely picked up on it. It's pretty neat how animals do that. Any time I'm sitting down I now have both of them plopped down on various portions of my anatomy. Currently Loki is making a total nuisance of himself by shoving his head up under my chin while I'm trying to type, and Cricket just gave up trying to balance on my shoulders and is now sitting on the window sill butting me on the back of the head. Or maybe they're just out of food. At any rate it's nice to have something soft to cuddle, even if one of the somethings I'm cuddling has razor sharp claws that he's currently using to knead my chest. Ouch.

It's been amazing how many people have dropped me a note to tell me that they're thinking about us; I've received over 200 e-mails, phone calls or messages in the last couple of days. I had no idea there were so many people out there who cared so deeply about our family and it means a tremendous deal to me to hear from all of you. I'm still asking for get-well cards for Jeremy to keep his spirits up as he starts down the road to recovery, and I'll be printing off the e-mails I'm getting for him as well. Keep 'em coming!

~Jess