In Which I Totally Freak Out

Jer had a fairly quiet day today. I had a rather emotionally fraught day, however.

See, they keep talking about sending Jer home on Saturday to be an outpatient until his big surgery, which will be at a hospital up in Seattle. That's in five days.

Every time they say this, a billion little mice in my brain start squeaking in sheer, utter terror. They sound something like this:

Saturday? That's five days away. Five days away and Jer still needs the help of me and two physical therapists to get out of bed. Five days away and he'll still be in huge casts that need to be elevated all of the time and he'll still have heels that are shattered into a billion pieces and we have no equipment at home and no vehicle that will work for him and I won't be able to leave him by himself and Connor starts school next week and they say we may not qualify for home health care and for the love of God why is this a good idea?????

Then the mice all degrade into gibbering and I have to go sit down for a while.

I told the case manager that our biggest issue is the vehicle, and explained the problem. We have a Nissan Xterra, and it's not wheelchair accessible at all. Currently Connor is small enough that I can simply lift him in and out of the car, and I just fold up his wheelchair and put it in the trunk. Now, Jer is not allowed to have his feet down from elevation for more than fifteen minutes at a time. It's a thirty-five minute drive from the hospital he's at now to our apartment, and a forty-five minute drive to the hospital where they'll be doing his big surgeries. So Jer is going to have to be in the vehicle with his feet elevated. This is impossible the way things stand now. I asked the case manager how we'll need to convert it (Rip out half the back seats and stick a ramp in the trunk? Will that even work?), or if we'll need to just rent or buy an accessible van, and what our insurance would cover. He suggested we just set up a "cabulance" system to get Jer to his therapy sessions and doctors appointments. That means an ambulance/shuttle would come by and pick up Jer to take him to and from the hospital. This is all well and good, except I can't leave Jer alone in the apartment (since he can't get out of bed by himself while wearing unbelievably heavy casts on both legs-- this would be bad if there was, oh, a fire or something) while I take Connor to his PT, the doctor, school, etc. and I'll need to go to the grocery store every once in a while.

He ordered Jer's other equipment (hospital bed, bedside commode, lift, special wheelchair, bath chair, and sliding board) today, and said he wasn't sure when it would get there. I'm thinking we'll set the hospital bed up in the living room and I can sleep on the futon-- it won't be pretty, but it will work as a temporary solution. As for the car-- he said he didn't have any ideas about the vehicle and maybe we should just look into Continued Care for Jeremy. In other words, A NURSING HOME.

I don't think so.

I talked to Jer's Rear Detachment Commander today, and he thankfully was able to give me some actual helpful information. The VA is able to help convert vehicles, for one thing. He also talked to me more about our traumatic injury insurance that should help us cover a van if we need to buy one. So I'm feeling a little better about the whole situation.

But FIVE DAYS.

Gibber gibber gibber.

~Jess