Sunday, February 28, 2010

In Which Jer And I Are Very Serious

Today Jeremy and I got the chance to go out on a date!  It was nice to get out and about, though right now our outings are limited to about 15 minutes at a time if they involved walking since that's about the time limit on Jer's forays out with a cane right now before he needs a rest.  It's still great to get out, though, and since our dates mostly consist of us going out to dinner and then finding some place with hot beverages to sit and read, it works out pretty well.

Since we were able to actually get out and walk around for a little while-- we were looking for some cool cloth storage bins for our bedroom closet-- we were able to indulge in one of our favorite pastimes.  We don't really have a name for it, but I guess if I was forced to come up with one I'd call it the Aircraft Carrier Game.  Basically what we do is have very loud arguments about completely insane topics within earshot of other shoppers while totally ignoring their reactions. 

I'd call it the Aircraft Carrier game because that's one of our favorite conversations to have.  Basically it involves us deciding upon retirement to buy an aircraft carrier and then retrofit it as a luxurious abode.  We argue over which country we will park the carrier offshore of, who will be allowed to live with us on our vessel, what we will name it, whether or not we will keep the missiles it came with, and how we will decorate the interior.  Other arguments we've had in the past include such scintillating topics as whether or not we can train poison dart frogs to use tasers and act as miniature sheep dogs (sheep frogs?) in our cat herding business and how exactly one would go about building a stadium that could be filled with wolves and used to weed out people with dubious amounts of common sense.

Tonight's spirited debate involved us first agreeing that we needed to buy two Roomba vacuum cleaners so that we could pit them against one another in duels.  Then we argued over what weaponry we would put on the Roombas and how they would be directed.  We finally agreed that we would strap the cats onto the vacuum cleaners and allow them to control them, but got bogged down when we figured out that Loki's Roomba would be drastically slower than Cricket's due to his much larger size, giving him a significant handicap.  After we had hashed out a solution there we had differing opinions yet again in what weaponry we would give the cats (Jer favored blunt lances and I waffled between squirt guns and low-power tasers).  All of this was at normal to slightly loud conversational level within clear earshot of several other shoppers.

It's really amusing to see how other people react to our debates.  We've had people repeatedly shoot each other looks ranging from amused to horrified depending on whether or not they had a firm grasp on sarcasm.  We've had some shoppers clandestinely follow us around the store listening, and a few have even jumped in on one side or the other of the argument and offered their own suggestions. 

I'm not clear exactly how this game started, but we've been doing it for years now.  We both keep perfectly straight faces and talk very seriously and passionately about our chosen topic.  It's one of the idiosyncrasies I love so much about our marriage.

Anybody else have crazy little games they play with their significant other?



Mary said...

I recall having the wolf-stadium debate with Jeremy. I was personally in favor of digging a giant pit filled with wolves into which we would toss those in need of a little Darwinian population thinning. I imagine it would be sort of similar to the pit for the giants in The BFG.

I read this aloud to Opie because it amused me so, and he seems to be in favor of us starting our own version of the game. Awesome.

Julia O'C said...

This is an awesome post!

If Sean and I think that someone is eavesdropping on us, we start talking about "the oozing tattoo." Sean will ask how my tattoo is healing and is it still oozing? I'll tell him that my gynecologist is concerned about it, but that it is itching less, etc. etc.

We've also talked about how clever we are for having our Jack Russell Terrier babysit the kids while we're out (or the fact that they're still in the car and should one of us go check on them?).

Fun times, fun times.

gloria said...

Ryan & I play for points. It could be anything from washing dishes to some unexpected kindness. Or it could be that I totally creamed him in some board game or helped him type a paper (while we were in college). The points mean nothing. But we keep playing for them.

Then there's the lovely codes we use. For example, when we're at friends' and one of us NEEDS to get out of there for a bathroom emergency, our code word is "apple pie." "Don't forget to bake that apple pie tonight." "Do you think we have any apple pie left from the other night?" (He's gonna kill me if he finds out I shared this.)

Jess said...

Mary, go right ahead. Can you imagine the conversations the FOUR of us could have walking around if you two get into this habit? We'd blow those poor shoppers' minds.

Julia, that is sheer genius. Ever seen anyone peering in through your car windows? Because that would be awesome.

Gloria, I will never look at apple pie the same way ever again.


Anonymous said...

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

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