Thursday, February 24, 2011

In Which I Have An Odd Day

Angry Face!
 Roller derby makes me do very strange things.

So today I called up the local beauty school and asked them to give me a black eye.  And also to make me look sort of punk rock and hot, because I had a photo shoot to go to and I needed to look sexy and sort of beat up.  After they determined that this was not, in fact, some sort of joke they jumped all over it; apparently beauty schools don't get a lot of requests for costume makeup and I was a "valuable learning experience" or something.  Plus I told them they could do whatever they wanted, and I've found as a general rule that stylists freak out when you tell them that because they don't get free rein very often.  And then usually awesome things happen, because let's face it-- the stylists know what they're good at.

Just like I know what I'm not good at.  And that would be hair and makeup. 

I don't really do much with either, to tell you the truth.  On any given day I run a brush through my hair and then if I have somewhere to be I'll put on lip gloss, concealer and maybe a little mascara.  Any attempts I make at using, say, black eyeliner generally look like they've been drawn on by a toddler on a sugar high.  I suppose I could practice, but I'm lazy and also I don't really have anything to wear black eyeliner to outside of the occasional derby-related photo shoot.  So I like going to the beauty school, as not only will my hair and makeup look eight hundred times better than if I do it but also they will enjoy the whole process about eight hundred times more than I will.  Also beauty schools are really cheap.  I like that part too.

Anyway, so the only time they could get me in was around one in the afternoon, and the shoot wasn't until seven.  I had to go ahead and get dressed up in my derby outfit because I'm not good at getting dressed without totally screwing up my hair and makeup.  Keep in mind that there was still snow on the ground and I was pushing around Connor's wheelchair to boot.  I'm not sure people knew quite what to make of me--  I certainly got some interesting looks as I was driving home.

So after I had my hair and makeup done I stopped for coffee briefly and then hid in my house until it was time to leave for the shoot.  This was so my neighbors wouldn't think that I was having some serious domestic issues and possibly also taking up a new profession.  I must admit I was slightly tempted to go walk around in the mall or something just to see how people would react, but I restrained myself.  Connor has enough going on without his mom horribly embarrassing him, and it's not like people don't stare at us at the mall all the time anyway so it wouldn't really be anything new.

The little guy was delighted with the whole thing, though.  He was extremely good during my hair and makeup appointments, probably because he approved of their lighting.  You know how this kid is about lighting.  I learned today that he's also a fan of bright red lipstick, because once I got home I had to keep reapplying it after he repeatedly tried to stick his fingers in my mouth.  And then he smeared his fingers all over his face.  I guess he wanted a makeover too.

Then once Jeremy got home I went to the shoot and spent a whole lot of time either fake-fighting other girls or showing off my Angry Face.  Apparently I have a good Angry Face, as demonstrated in the picture above.  Who knew?  I just used the face I make when I've spent over forty minutes on hold with a doctor's office.  Evidently it's effective.

So that was my very odd day.



Emthe said...

Jess, you are so full of the awesome. Great photo.

Julia O'C said...

You. Rock.

I can't wait to hear about the photo shoot! And see the results! And pretend that because I know you, I'm cool, too (ha!).

Diane J Standiford said...

LOL, the real you!

Blog Directory