Saturday, July 11, 2009

Loki Versus The Rug of Doom

Our cat Loki has a new arch nemesis.

Since I've cut him off from access to his former foe (our printer, aka The Antichrist) he's had to seek out other sinister evils to defend the household from. He didn't have to look very far to find his new worst enemy.

Folks, meet The Rug of Doom.

I thought when I bought this rug (innocent fool that I was) that I was buying it for the purpose of collecting dirt that would otherwise end up on our carpet. Little did I know that I was actually buying a highly intelligent and sophisticated form of monster, who was mimicking a stylish rug in order to infiltrate Loki's inner sanctum. Late at night while I'm asleep, this demonic being comes to life and slinks its way across the living room, where it eats all of Loki's food. This is the only explanation I can come up with as to why Loki's food bowl, which is filled to the brim every night, is licked clean by morning. Loki is the very picture of a pitiful starving feline when I get up, so surely he's not eating it.

As Loki's increasingly frantic attempts to alert me to the fact that my so-called rug is in fact a catfood-stealing villain have failed, he is now taking a direct approach and spends a good portion of time biting, chewing on, kicking, clawing, and otherwise attempting to incapacitate this Rug of Doom. Sometimes when he gets particularly wound up he grabs it by one corner and drags it halfway across the room. Glad to see he's putting it in its place, though I must say that it's now more of a dirt distribution tool than a dirt catcher.

Loki also spends a lot of time watching this rug. Every once in a while he'll bound up to me and race back towards the foul creature, as if to say: "See! Didn't you see it sticking out it's little tag tongue at me? I can't believe you just missed it again!" I have to hand it to him; what he lacks in brains, he makes up for in persistence. Case in point:

Here he is with a laser pointer. He's trying out his most powerful weapon; the Stare of Death. You'll notice he keeps about eight inches away from the green dot at all times, and he believes he must keep complete eye contact with his prey for it to work. Forget claws and teeth; he'll conquer his enemies with his searing mindbeam powers.

Crazy cat.


Lin said...

Go, Loki, GO!!! We have a Stuffed Poodle of Doom that our kitty, Hobbes drags into his Den of Doom (under Em's bed) where he kicks the living crap out of it. Why no other stuffed animal in the house is beyond us--just Em's Evil Pink Poodle. Whatever. Cats are weird.

Anonymous said...

My parents once had a grey cat whose mortal enemy was a refrigerator magnet shaped like a martini glass... I think we as humans shouldn't try to understand the complex reasoning behind their furry little minds.

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