Thursday, March 12, 2009

Closet Trauma

My sister is coming into town today!

This means that I have officially declared my house to be in a State of Emergency, because I have company coming and nothing is clean. I will now spend the next three hours frantically running around and shoving things into closets so that it at least LOOKS clean. My sister will be fine as long as she doesn't attempt to actually open any closets, which would be very dangerous. I love her dearly and would hate for anything to happen to her. Also I think that "Closet-Related Trauma" would look really, really stupid on a death certificate, so we're going to try to avoid that.

I have friends with spotlessly clean houses. I'll walk in and they'll say something like-- "Oh, I'm so sorry the house is such a mess!" I'll look around at the spotless carpets, dusted picture frames, and counters that do not have 6 inch piles of papers from the insurance company on them, and then try to resist the urge to strangle them over their spotless glass coffee tables.

The truth is that I keep the house cleaner when Jer's gone than I do when he's home. I think that this is because when he's gone I spend the evenings cleaning for lack of better things to do, but when he's home I'd rather spend the time cooking dinner and hanging out. I know if I start cleaning than he'll feel guilty and feel obligated to clean too, which is not what he wants to do after spending the last eight hours at work. So I stick to the bare minimum and the papers pile up.

I can't even blame the mess on Connor, as he isn't mobile. Well, I can indirectly blame it on him. 90% of the mess is related to him somehow. It's just not him MAKING the mess. Oh well.

Break's over. Back to cleaning.

~Jess

4 comments:

Kara said...

Closet Related Trauma...such a sad way to go. The death certificate would read:

Cause of Death: blunt force trauma
Manner of Death: closet contents

Right up there with Baby Gate Related Trauma, of which I've suffered many many times - thankfully have avoided Death by Baby Gate...for now.

Hope you share a nice visit and avoid any closet related mishaps!

Lin said...

Your sister (and everyone else who matters) really doesn't care what your house looks like. If you truly love someone, who cares if you are sitting in pig slop?! Be easy on yourself. I'm sure she's coming to see you and the family and not if you have dusted. Have fun!!!

Connor's Mom said...

Kara: Ah, the joy of Baby Gate trauma. This is something we have yet to experience. Don't get me started on Cat Related Trauma, though. Loki, the nineteen pound Assassin From Above likes to plummet from his cat tower onto the couch, landing inches from your head. Someday he will misjudge the leap, and that will be the end for me.

Lin: It's a good thing that she doesn't care, because I didn't get it all cleaned anyway. Oh well.

~Jess

Princess Abigail said...

Indeed, "Closet-Related Trauma" would look really, really stupid on a death certificate.

But it made Mama laugh out loud. Out very loud, in fact.

As she was reading it at work, where you are not supposed to read anything other than work stuff, this kind of let the cat out of the bag.

She got a real hearty laugh out of this! Your Mama is more effective than cholesterol medecine!

 
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