Home Again Home Again

We're home!

The wedding was beautiful, and everyone really enjoyed themselves with the notable exception of Mr. Crabbypants, masquerading as Connor, and my poor mother-in-law, who was gracious enough to babysit for me. The ceremony was held in the sitting area of a B&B in Fort Worth called Etta's Place. Most of the guests also stayed at the B&B, and Connor, my mother-in-law, and I occupied the Kid's Room, which was just down the hall from the sitting room. The plan we'd decided on was that my mother-in-law would entertain Connor in our room while I attended the wedding and the reception.

So picture, if you will, the scene. A lone violin plays a sweet and mellow air. The groom and his groomsmen nervously descend a spiral staircase to stand in front of high arched french doors. The bridesmaids promenade to "ooos" and "ahhs" down a stairway and through a Victorian-style library, followed by the radiant bride on her father's arm. We're all wiping away tears because it's so beautiful and sentimental and they both look so happy. The minister asks everyone to join him in prayer, and as we bow our heads the room is for a moment completely, utterly silent.

And right in the middle of this perfect, golden silence, just before the minister opens his mouth to begin, we all hear a noise. It starts off soft and quickly rises in both pitch and volume, ending in a violent crescendo so high it can't possibly be human. It sounds a little like an enraged pig stomping on a bicycle horn.

"AaaaaugAUGAGHHHHHHAUGAGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"


Evidently Mr. Crabbypants resented being left out of the ceremony. Also he has an impeccable sense of dramatic timing.

My mother later remarked that she didn't realize Connor had that kind of lung capacity, given that he was down a hallway and behind a rather thick wooden door. I'm sure my mother-in-law, who was in rather closer proximity to the screaming, received a better idea of exactly how loud my son can be and for how long. She'd brought a portable DVD player with her to entertain him. "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" reminded him of how much he hates coconuts. Ernie's rendition of "Rubber Ducky" caused him to wail in sympathy for all artificial animals tortured in bathtubs. By the time I came back from the reception, around 11:30 pm, he had worn himself out after three hours of solid screaming and was fast asleep.

My mother-in-law is a wonderful person, and since she not only didn't take offense at Connor's totally unacceptable behavior but has actually offered to babysit him again, I'm considering petitioning to have her canonized.

So the rest of the stay was rather laid back and uneventful so long as I didn't go more than thirty feet from my parent's house and stayed within Connor's line-of-sight at all times. My parents offered to babysit for me a couple of times and let me escape to go visit friends, even with the knowledge that the second I left he would announce that the World Was Ending and he would be providing the appropriate sound effects for the occasion. My parents are awesome. I started helping my sister and her fiance out with some of their wedding things, hung out with some family and friends...it was a nice break.

My miserable, angry son huddled on my lap for the entire plane ride home. His eczema, which hasn't caused him problems for months, is back with a vengeance, and he's got diarrhea from all of the stress, which was really, really fun on the plane. I had no idea how much he relies on routine to order his world and how stressful it would be on him to take him out of it for a few days. Normally when we travel I allow for a couple of days at the beginning and end of the trip to take it easy and establish a new routine before we start socializing and going on outings. I didn't do that this time, and it was a big mistake. When my sister has her wedding I'm going to try and travel at least a week in advance so that he's settled in before I start leaving him with other people and taking him to strange and new places. Oh well-- live and learn, I suppose.

We won't have any time to settle back in here at home either-- we'll be thrown immediately back into the thick of things. We have two school nurses stopping by the house tomorrow morning at nine to evaluate Connor, who I'm sure will be just thrilled, and then at ten-thirty Connor's respite care worker is coming over so I can leave for Connor's evaluation results meeting at the school. I got the invitation for that today, and in addition to the experts they used before they've added a Special Education Supervisor, bringing the grand total of people the school district will have at the meeting to eight, which is rather a large number. This should be an interesting gathering-- hopefully good things will come of it.

At any rate, we're home! I'm looking forward to the return of my sweet Connor soon, as Mr. Crabbypants has definitely worn out his welcome.


~Jess