Saturday, December 11, 2010

In Which I Am Now The Owner Of Extreme Floofiness

I am now the proud owner of quite possibly the world's floofiest tutu.

Yes, I know that "floofy" is not technically a word.  But I think that pretty much everyone would understand what I am talking about once they take a look at that picture and agree that floofy is really the only way to describe it.  There are probably at least eight yards of tulle in this thing.

Our respite care worker Joanna gave this absolutely awesome pink monstrosity to me as part of her ongoing quest to convince me to choose a roller derby name somewhere along the lines of Glitter Sparkle Princess Barbie, which she thinks would be hilarious.  Needless to say this is not going to happen, because there is not a single mention of death or destruction in that name even though it is absolutely terrifying-- especially to anyone who has ever been subjected to one of the fantastic plastic princess's music videos.  If I used one of those as a theme song I could probably make the opposing team and the vast majority of the fan base flee in horror before the bout even started, thus winning the game for us.  It would probably not be so good for ticket sales though, so I'll restrain myself. 

Besides, Barbie doesn't dress in tutus anymore.  Barbie apparently dresses in outfits like this now.  Whoa, Barbie.  Put either the tutu or some pants back on, because no one wants to see that.

Anyway, while this tutu is pretty impractical for an actual bout I'll probably wear it to derby functions on occasion, because really who wouldn't want to wear a giant fluffy pink tutu and roller skates? 

But despite its awesomeness, I refuse to name myself Glitter Sparkle Princess Barbie.  Sorry, Jo-- nice try.



leah said...

Sorry, but I have to vote for "Glitter Sparkle Princess Barbie." You can add "Of Death" if you would like, but that is just HILARIOUS! Love the tutu.

Jennifer said...

I completely, 100% agree with Leah.

Good thing you're not letting us decide your name, because I'm sure you'd come out with GSPB OF DEATH!

spherescamp said...

The image of Barbie in that getup is permanently burned into my brain! Clicking the link is a reflex, like telling someone else to smell that thing that may be rotten in the fridge because you just got a whiff of it.

Now, back to your derby name! Something involving the words glitter and princess could be totally misleading to the other team and then you pommel them! Mwua-ha-ha!

Herding Grasshoppers said...

Sweet bout-fit!

How about Death by Glitter? by Tutu?
Pink Destruction?

Smash on,


krlr said...

Grisly Glitter Sparkle Slayer?

Anonymous said...

May I humbly suggest Destruct-o-Barbie?

The floof of that tutu has reached critical levels.


gloria said...

Ila Barbie Q. Yoo.

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