Sunday, April 3, 2011

In Which Connor Loves His Sister And I Start Nesting Again

Connor had a snotty, sicky night again last night and stayed up really late, so I ended up skipping my Thai lesson this morning as there was no way I was going to be learning anything given how little sleep I've gotten in the past two days.  I'm a little worried that he's still going to be congested when it's time for his MRI on Wednesday and we'll have to move it.  Since it took me almost four months to get the appointment set up I would not be particularly thrilled by that development.  However, I also don't want him going under anesthesia while he's congested, so we'll just have to see how he's doing then.  He wasn't running a fever today and he only had a couple of small seizures, so it's likely that he's over the worst of it.

He's supposed to start school up again tomorrow and also have his first horseback riding lesson, so I'm really hoping that he'll be feeling better!  I'm pretty sure he'll be up for going to school judging by how he felt today, but if he's still really snotty we can't risk him infecting the other kids, some of whom are medically fragile like he is. 

When I wasn't taking care of the little guy I was either listening to podcasts about adoption (I'm particularly fond of the Foster Parenting Podcast by Tim and Wendy, which has a whole lot of great info that translates to various types of adoption) or surfing the Internet looking at interior decorating sites.  The new information we received about Ellen has got me nesting in a major way, and I'm starting to think about her room and the essentials she'll need for when she gets here even though there's no way that's happening any time soon.  I think it's a way for me to feel connected with her through the long wait.

We aren't going to put more than the basics in our daughter's room before she gets here.  This is for two reasons.  The first is that children (and teenagers) who come from orphanage settings often are really overwhelmed by having a whole lot of stuff and don't really know what to make of it.  They're coming from environments where they generally have very few (if any) personal possessions and so it can be unnerving to go from having so little to having everything. 

The second reason is that we want Ellen to feel comfortable in her own room and feel she should have a say in what it looks like.  A child's bedroom should be their intimate, personal place where they feel at home, and right now we don't know enough about her personal tastes to feel comfortable decking out a room and being sure we'd make it a place that feels right for her.  By waiting until she's here and allowing her to choose things such as a bedspread, curtains, pictures for the walls, etc. we think it might help her feel like her room is her own and that she's a wanted part of our family instead of a visitor staying in a guest room. 

We did ask her what her favorite color is in the hopes that we could get a jump start on the very basic stuff though, like sheets, wall paint, and furniture.  It turns out her favorite color is white, which is an interesting choice and not a very common favorite color!  I ended up wandering into the mall and buying her some simple white sheets to add to her box of things in her closet, since I figured all the eyelet and ruffly stuff might or might not be to her taste.  We'll wait on most of the big purchases until things get closer, but I really wanted to get something for her to celebrate the fact that with our dossier's successful delivery to Thailand we're one step closer to bringing her home.  I feel like I can give myself permission to really start imagining Ellen in our home since my fears that we'd get another dreaded phone call thankfully did not come to pass.  While we still have to wait for Thailand to approve us and make the referral, it's pretty likely now that the match will happen unless for some reason they determine that we're unfit parents or a relative magically appears to claim her after her thirteen year stay in the orphanage.

We've begun preparing Connor again for the idea of having a sister, and he is completely in love with Ellen-- or at least with how Ellen looks.  We've shown him the videos and pictures we have of her, and he now asks to see them over and over again.  I'm not entirely sure he gets the concept of having a sister yet, but our discussions with him have garnered an interesting side effect.  Now whenever he sees anyone who is Asian, he gets really excited and signs "Want!  Want!."  It's cute but a little bit embarrassing to explain-- especially when the person he's shrieking and gesturing towards is an elderly gentleman who might not be amused by the fact that he's being compared to (or possibly mistaken for) a teenage girl.  It's kind of like the phase Connor went through when he was convinced all people in uniforms were "Daddy."

Oh well.



Julia O'C said...

You have VIDEO? Ooooh....

bamboo outlast blanket said...

I like your post this is interesting and I enjoyed to read this.
Thank you for sharing with us.

nicola anderson said...

Dear Jess,
I so pleased to hear that Connor is excited about Ellen. I have speaking today to a lady who has known Ellen since she was little and she is going to email me some info for you. Can i send you my emaiul address on here so you can contact me. Its
I wounder if closer to Ellens arrival she can be taught some of Connors signs so they have communication from the off set. She is likely to be aware of Thai sign as they do it in the orphanage for many of the young people. Im sure as you get closer she will like that every much. As for the books you mentioned which way were you wanting to send them?If i can help at all please do say.
God bless. Nicola xxxx

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