Tuesday, August 7, 2012

In Which Connor Needs His Mommy And Has A Rough Time

Connor felt a little insecure today.  Our normal night nurse is on vacation this week, so we've had a substitute.  If there's one thing Connor is not a huge fan of, it's change.  So last night he refused to go to sleep.  About three in the morning I heard him shrieking at the top of his lungs and got up to go see what he needed. 

The stand-in night nurse had tried everything she could think of, but Connor still wasn't happy.  She doesn't know sign language, and so she didn't realize he was asking for me.  He saw me and frantically started signing "Want Mommy want Mommy."  I think he had himself convinced I wouldn't be there in the morning.  I picked him up and snuggled him for about ten minutes, and then put him back to bed, where he finally relaxed enough to fall asleep. 

Night nursing is fantastic and wonderful, but there are some things only Mommies are good for.

So today he was a remora; he spent the whole day clinging to me and refusing to let me out of his sight for more than a minute or two.  Every time I sat him on my lap he immediately started drifting off; I think he was exhausted not just from last night, but also because he was so worried I would disappear that he was wearing himself out being so vigilant.  Either that or he's feeling poorly; if he's getting sick he often does the same thing.

I figured he needed some extra reassurance, so I ended up watching a movie with him snuggled up on me, snoozing away.  I tried to put him down in bed when the movie was over, but the second I put him down he woke up and we started the cycle all over again. 

So instead of cleaning the floors, which is what I really should have been doing today but is rather impossible with a forty pound child balanced on one hip, I finished up the rest of the laundry. If I fold it on the couch, I can set Connor down and he doesn't protest because I'm facing him and only a couple of feet away. He conked out in the middle of the second load.

I feel pretty guilty about this whole thing; it had to be terrifying for him to ask for me over and over and not be able to make the nurse understand what he needed.  His regular nurse knows the signs he uses most often now, and she's able to reassure him that I'm right next door if he asks for me. 

Currently he's snoozing away in his bed, and I hope he'll sleep through the night.  And as much as he protests about her, I'm sure he'll be glad to see his regular night nurse when she's back next week and he'll have no trouble making his needs known.

Poor little guy.

~Jess

2 comments:

Julia O'C said...

Oh, Jess!! That is just heartwrenching!!

Clara said...

Poor Connor! Just as an idea, would it be possible to make a poster with the signs that he uses more often, and put in his room for the nurses to see ( in case that you have a substitute?) Just putting things out there. Please forgive me if it's a bad idea.

 
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